New York Times 30th May 2011
NYPD have launched a dragnet for this terrorist
whom they believe appeared mysteriously from New Yorks East River before making his way to the Secure Bail Apartment of Dominique Strauss-Kahn and ninjaing all the guards except the one that Strauss-Kahn had already neutralised by shouting "Ah fucking oon you you sleazy liddle men an' ah oon zee zecuridy ferme you werk fer" before tossing him his wifes tiara.
The terrorist then disabled the multimillion dollar security system by pointing a laser pen at it before the trio escaped the apartment via the fire escape ladders and fled New York in an amusingly retro Triumph Dolomite (pictured)
Upstate New Yorkers failed to spot Dominique Strauss-Kahn even though his Attorney had told the Court that he was now one of the most recognised faces on earth (pictured with label)
Apart from reports of random violence along Rout 87 nothing more was seen of them until they were observed on a microlite flying over the St. Lawrence River and it is believed that Strauss-Kahn has now gone to ground within the Québécoise Community before preparing to be smuggled to France for a heros welcome and a Presidential Reception
In a further twist the FBI have sent a rendition demand to England for this man
UK Justice Minister Ken Clarke on a charge of Hate Crime by suggesting that raping hotel maids is not really rape provided quite a lot of money changes hands soon after.
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